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It’s completely normal – and healthy – for couples to argue. You’re two separate people, and you’re going to have different opinions sometimes. You might have heard of some of those classic techniques for how to fight fair, like only using statement starting with “I” or trying not to call names.

But what you might not realize is that how you act after a fight can be as important to your relationship as what you say in the heat of the moment. Here are 12 reactions to avoid, whether you’re totally over it or still working on that whole forgive-and-forget thing.

1.Don’t disrespect your partner’s need for space.

“In a fight, when one partner is overwhelmed, they may not be able to process their thoughts,” Dr. Megan Flemming, clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist, tells Woman’s Dat. “Which is why it’s important to respect when someone says ‘I need a break.'” It can be natural to feel anxious if your partner needs some time to cool off and collect their thoughts – if this happens, take a few deep breaths and think about how’d you want to be treated if the roles were reversed. “Understand that it’s not personal,” says Dr. (mais…)

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